After reading the interesting new Story of O and some thoughts brewing over in the World of Matticusthis morning, I added this to the resent assaults to my senses in regards to the pettiness of our squabbles and perceived insults. Eventually, my brain started churning with something that hits close to home with me as both a hopeless romantic and a fan of RPGs and fantasy settings – the Death of Chivalry.
One of my great draws to fantasy stems from it coinciding with my romantic nature. I am taken with the ideas of knights and honor and chivalry as much as I am dragons and elves and other mythical creatures.
So it makes me sad to see the current state of chivalry as we know it. It has fallen to the wayside, replaced by “common courtesy” (which unfortunately seems far less common) because courtesy is more politically correct.
I could get deeply into my thoughts on hypocritical stands in regards to chivalry, but I will leave that for Mr. Billing, linked above. I find myself in agreement both with him and many of his commentators on several of his posts.
I am a firm believer in courtesy in both theory and practice. I say “please” and “thank you.” I try and express my gratitude in every manner I know how. I also hold doors – and I am surprised, yet not, to find out that this small courtesy is the source of a good amount of male/female conflict in modern times.
I spent numerous years in customer service, and therefore I have a tendency to extend such courtesies in every situation I can. This includes holding doors for customers, and in turn, complete strangers.
But apparently I get away with this display because I am a woman.
I have recently heard a number of gentlemen tell me that they are berated and lectured for showing such simple courtesy as holding a door for a woman. I find this appalling. It makes me wonder if this same lecture would be extended towards myself in a similar door-holding situation.
I dare say, I doubt it.
So at what point does (pardon the pun) the door swing too far in the other direction? At what point do we as women go from the “victim” of sexism to the attacker?
I think, like the over-reaction of some to this new Magic card, reprimanding an honest display of common courtesy does just that.
In fact, though I deplore labels, I wish there were a way to somehow carry a sign that says, “I promise not to speak down to you for being courteous to me.”
Where has modern day chivalry gone? It is currently having the life stomped out of it. Or much like an enemy in a first person shooter – it is being fragged.